Lessons in friendship
I wanted to steer away from the more serious side of the paranormal that this blog often explores and have some real talk. I have been in the paranormal field now for a few years. From running this blog to investigating, being in teams and finally going it on my own, during this time I learnt a lot of lessons.
One of the more pleasant and unexpected 'side effects' from investigating the paranormal has been the amazing people that I have met along the way. From people I meet at an investigation through to people that I have ended up speaking to over social media, I have found a little group of people that has slowly grown into a village of friendship and support. When I run investigations, it doesn't feel like work. It feels like I am out having a good time with my friends. Even if it is the first time I am meeting someone.
Of course not everyone is going to get along. This is true in life and the paranormal field is not immune. There are some in the field that I don't agree with or our personalities just clash. There are people that don't like me and there are some that no matter what I do won't like me. Again this is just the reality of life. Sometimes people just don't like each other. You don't even need a reason sometimes, you just don't gel. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that there is always going to be someone that is unhappy with what I do. Often I will get messages from people and usually it is to complain. They like my articles up to a certain point until something hits home and they feel like I attacked something they believe in. I try my very best to provide all angles on a topic and allow a reader to make up their own mind. I have my opinion and it is my own. I can't write for a specific audience to make them happy. It took me a while to realise this. I dabbled for a while and where certain topics will probably get me a lot more website visits and likes etc, it isn't me being me. So after dabbling in writing for the first 2 years, I revamped everything and here I am on my path. I still often get the messages from unhappy people, and I will always listen to what they have to say. Their opinion matters as well and in all honesty some of the feedback I have taken on board as it has been useful. My intentions are always honest and good when writing and I don't want people to feel they are being mocked or under attack. I know some of my writing in the past may have come across this way but it was not intended. Tone is a very hard thing when it comes to writing. I am a very sarcastic and honest person when I speak so it can be difficult to write in an appropriate tone. It has been a learning curve. Like everyone else I have made mistakes along the way and learnt a lot about myself and the person I want to be. After a lot of soul searching, I found who I wanted to be and I set out to do that. I am sharing this with you because we all reach this point during our time in the field. You tend to try a bunch of different things and then you find what 'fits' and you start doing what feels right for you and the path you want to travel down. Sadly sometimes people don't always 'fit' with what you want.
While I gained some amazing friendships along the way, some of those did not stand the test of time. I like to believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason and they serve a purpose for that time in your life. When you grow or evolve, sometimes their job is done and they aren't a part of your journey anymore. I see this happen a lot in the field and again I have experienced it myself a lot as well. Paranormal teams come and go. Sometimes people are able to go their own ways to do their own things, and sometimes it can become nasty. When you share something special with people for so long and then they aren't there anymore, it can be easy to feel resentment toward them, again it is that human nature factor. This is how we as humans are. Sometimes people feel a sense of ownership over you if they were with you from the beginning. Ever heard the comment "This person wouldn't be where they are today if it wasn't for me!" What is important to know is that you are the maker of your own future and while you may have had people guiding you and showing you the way, work you have done is your work. Don't let a person make you feel like you are only in a certain position because of them. Most importantly, if you do happen to end a friendship or your team breaks up, don't get into public slinging matches. If you have beef with someone, deal with it privately. Don't make your followers and friends 'choose' because that isn't fair. It is your fight not theirs. It doesn't even have to a be a fight. The paranormal field feels so small in a lot of ways and you will come across people from your past. Let them be and let them do your thing and you do yours. Let go of the past and look to the future.
It is inevitable in a lot of ways that at some point during your time in the paranormal field, you will be a subject of or at least witness the above things. When you have a tight knit community, it is to be expected. While it sucks, there are lessons that can be learnt. Most importantly, you will learn who is truly there for you and who truly has your back. While you may be disappointed with some of the people that turn their backs, you may be pleasantly surprised by the ones who continue to have your back. Most of all, know that your voice and opinion is important and that this is your journey into the paranormal. If you are not doing things in a way that is true to you and makes you happy, maybe you need to re-evaluate why that is. We of all people know that life is too short. We spend a lot of hours in our spare time doing this so it needs to be something that makes us happy and be as drama free as possible. While of course there is always bound to be drama, you will reach a point where you don't care about it anymore. This is when you know that you are on that path to your greatest self! It is equally important when on this path though, that while staying true to yourself you don't put others down to get there.
There are some amazing people in the paranormal field. You know them. You are friends with them. You know the people you can trust and that you enjoy spending your time with. You know the people that make you feel like you can do whatever you want to do to be the best you can. You know these people because they are your circle and your tribe. When you cut out a lot of the other stuff within the paranormal field, you are always left with your little circle. When you look back, these will be the people you remember and the good times and experiences you had together.
We didn't realise we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun!
Tell these people how much they mean to you and make them realise how important they really are! A person may not realise the impact they have in your life. Celebrate your friendships, your teams and your paranormal tribe! Who are you thankful to have along on your journey?
There are so many individual people I could thank. If you are reading this, I thank you for being a part of this crazy journey. Don't worry, I am not making an exit speech. I am just very thankful and humbled to have such an amazing group of people that follow what I do. You quite simply let me live my life in full spectrum no questions, just mature adult conversation and you make me think. Most importantly, you make me smile. Thankyou!
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Comments
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LLIFS 4 years ago
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts I know this has been a long time coming decision for you and wish you all the best I’ll still be following intently! X
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TTGB 4 years ago
I was going to post a simple comment initially, but I realised as my fingers started typing uncontrollably that I had a lot more to say, and things I've needed to say for awhile.
So with your inspiration, I decided to also blog my thoughts over on my site: ttgbparanormal.co.uk/blog/leavingsocialmedia-
LLIFS 4 years ago
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts I know this has been a long time coming decision for you and wish you all the best I’ll still be following intently! X
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